Oscar Moments

Academy Award Snubs

1987's, 'Tough Guys Don't Dance'

"A story of how dangerous love can be"

Before 'Memento', there was 'Tough Guys Don't Dance'. There was also, like, a billion other movies before 'Memento'. Just thought I'd catch your attention. A writer, ex-con and 40-something bottle-baby, Tim Madden, who is prone to black-outs, awakens from a two-week bender to discover a pool of blood in his car, a blond woman's severed head in his marijuana stash, and the new Provincetown police chief, Captain Luther Regency, shacked up with his former girlfriend Madeleine. Run-on sentence. As his father, Dougy, helps him try to unravel the mystery, he is dogged by the psychotic Capt. Regency, who has it in for Tim as a car-crash that he was involved in with Madeline has left her unable to have children. Flashing-back to the past, Tim remembers the time when he encouraged Madeline to swing with a Li'l Abnerish couple from down South, the fundamentalist preacher Big Stoop and his Daisy Mae-ish wife, Patty Lareine, whose ad Tim had come across in 'Screw' magazine. It's on the trip back that the car crash occurs, since Madeline is incensed that Tim has so enjoyed Patty Lareine's charms. Except for his father, Dougy, who is dying of cancer, Tim suspects everyone...

Anyway, in 'Tough Guys Don't Dance', this happens. . .

The More You Know

Best Death Scenes Ever

Jackie Chan is an inspiration to us all. His hard work and tireless effort to his craft make him a great role model to America's youth.

And did I mention, he can do this. . .

'Schizoid' Trailer

Schizoid

"Don't let me do it again..."

IMDB.com Rating: 4.7 out of 10

Availability: In print on Blu Ray and moderately priced

Julie is an advice columnist for the city newspaper. She begins to receive anonymous notes threatening murder and worse. At the same time, female members of the group therapy session she attends are being stabbed, one by one, by an unknown assailant. Is there a connection? If so, why do the notes talk about murder with a gun, while the murder victims are being stabbed? At first, the police, her ex-husband, her therapist and her friends all assure her that the notes are probably unrelated, and a hoax; but with time, it becomes apparent someone close to her is responsible. Is it her therapist, Pieter, who has sex with his patients just before they are murdered? Or Pieter's daughter, who resents Julie for her romantic involvement with Pieter? Is it Julie's ex-husband, who never really wanted their divorce? Or maybe Gilbert, the eccentric building maintenance man whom many people believe is a little crazy anyway? Or maybe someone else? Seriously, it could be someone else? It might not be someone I mention. Who knows..? Just about everyone around her seems mentally disturbed enough...

Paul Blaisdell: A Retrospective

Remembering  Paul Blaisdell:

During the 1950s, movie goers found themselves invaded -- well, figuratively. Science-Fiction had made its way into the country's cinema houses and the some of the onslaught was brought to the screen by one genius of a man, monster-maker, Paul Blaisdell. 'Invasion of the Saucer Men', 'It Conquered the World' and 'The She-Creature' were just a few of his fantastic monsters.

His story began in Los Angeles, where Blaisdell first was an illustrator for sci-fi publishings. There, he made a big fan out of Forrest J. Ackerman, future editor of 'Famous Monsters of Filmland' magazine. Famous cheap-o producer, Roger Corman called Ackerman one day, asking if he knew anyone who could make a monster for a movie. Recognizing Blaisdell's genius, he recommended him for the job. In 1956, Blaisdell began work on his first creature-feature, 'The Beast with 1,000,000 Eyes'. Blaisdell's freshman foray into filmed horror took shape in the form of a miniature. 'The Beast with 1,000,000 Eyes' made Paul the go-to guy for the company "American International Pictures". 

Corman and A.I.P. quickly employed the serviced of Blaisdell, again, for 'The Day the World Ended'. In this, Blaisdell skipped the miniature and went to the full-sized monster suit. With a little glue, some chunks of rubber and a pair of long-johns, Paul made the atomic monster; who's suit he would don for the film. Paul was becoming a big name in lower-budget effects, picking up followers and apprentices along the way. He took one under his wing and made him his assistant. That man was Bob Burns, who would later go on to do many effects for big-named films, such as 'Harry and the Hendersons', 'King Kong' and 'The Lord of the Rings' trilogy.

1957 saw Blaisdell's biggest creation of the time, the titular characters from 'The Invasion on the Saucer Men'. These creatures, big heads and all, invade Earth in an attempt to kill off everyone and gain control of the planet. For the first time in Paul's short monster-making career, he was asked to do more than create the creature, but to model their spaceship, as well. Shot with the use of miniatures, they had their spaceship. Made from white pine, and using cheap electronics, the rocket was more than what the studio planned. This only elevated his name in the world of '50s sci-fi

The next film he was used on, 'The She-Creature', saw Hollywood's first full-bodied female monster suit. This 1957 success, once again, starred Paul as the picture's lead monster. The scintillating she-devil became one of the artist's most indelible icons. With a budget of just more than $100,000, this cheezy-good cinema hit garnered success and enough publicity and fame to be remade for television 11 years later. In looking back, the only thing which carried this movie were the monster effects and art direction overseen by Blaisdell and protege', Bob Burns.

Roger Corman was looking to do another film, and of course, Blaisdell and Burns were the guys he wanted to make his alien monster. Again, the world saw a larger-than-life female antagonist in 'It Conquered the World!' The film's monster was shaped in a non-human form, almost a bell-like figure. Aside from the female creature, Paul was also responsible for creating the film's freaky, flying, mind-control monsters. This picture was made to 'turn a quick buck', as they say. Its overall cheezy quality made this another fun money-maker at the cinema.

In 'The Ghost of Dragstrip Hollow', Paul spoofed himself. As a frustrated effects man, his character relies on his craft to scare off a group of teenagers. In essence, this was a live-action version of 'Scooby Doo'.

All of his monsters had 'The Blaisdell Scowl', a angered look.

After 'The Ghost of Dragstrip Hollow', Blaisdell did his most famous creation in 'It! The Terror from Beyond Space'. Because of his finally bigger budget, Paul was able to create the villainous alien's mask using better effects more frequent of the times. Along with the mask, he also sculpted many body plates for the creature. His genius and creativity were showcased with this monster. The film's success, primarily with massive help from Paul's contributions, turned this picture into a sci-fi/noir classic; leading to a reimagining with 1979's 'Alien'. Sadly, this was the artist's swan song. 

After years of headaches, production problems and tight-budgets, Paul decided it was time to step away from A.I.P. With new ambition, Paul and Bob began a magazine of their own, 'Fantastic Monsters of the Film'. They offered readers slides and models from their films. They even made their own movie, offering it for sale in the magazine. After a fire, the magazine company went belly-up and ended its short run.

Sadly, stomach cancer claimed the life of the artist in 1983. Since his death, fans have honored his work with collectibles and sculptures. His vision and ingenuity still inspire countless fans who pay homage through model kits, art work and toys. For a man without a crew or staff, he was a brilliant artist. It's a positive thing to see the Paul Blaisdell left such a lasting impact on the genre and film-world.

Bambi Meets Godzilla

Bambi Meets Godzilla

IMDB.com Rating: 7.2 out of 10

Availability: Only on VHS and cheaply priced.

Number 38 on The 50 Greatest Cartoons list from '94, this Marv Newland cartoon prefaced midnight shows in Grindhouse theaters and eventually found it's way onto the 'Godzilla 1985' VHS. It initially was to be a live-action film, until Marv lost an essential shot and figured it'd be easier to animate. The music in the background is "Call of the Dairy Cows" from 'William Tell'.

Phantasm V: Ravager Trailer

Phantasm V: Ravager
Release Date: TBD 

In 2004, six years after the release of 'Phantasm IV: Oblivion', series director Don Coscarelli told Fangoria, "I’d also still like to do another 'Phantasm' film. Reggie Bannister and Angus Scrimm are still in great shape and raring to go."

In March 2005, it was announced that Coscarelli was in the final stages of talks with New Line Cinema to produce a new entry. According to The Hollywood Reporter, the new film was "being developed as a relaunch and as a possible trilogy about Mike's coming of age." This version never came to fruition.

Rumors about a sequel were reignited in June 2007 by footage contained in Don Coscarelli's Farewell to The Alamo Drafthouse, featuring Angus Scrimm and A. Michael Baldwin in their roles. However an interview with Reggie Bannister surfaced on YouTube, and, when asked about the possibility of a fifth film, he stated there was no activity or development but that anything was possible in the future.

In June 2012, rumors again surfaced that Coscarelli would begin a fourth sequel. According to a report on Dread Central, a reliable source told them the script was completed and filming would begin later in the year. Coscarelli disputed this claim, publicly stating, "I have no solid news to report on a new project now." 

The director, however, was being coy with film news sites. According to what Coscarelli and new co-writer-director Dan Hartman told Entertainment Weekly, the film was shot secretly in and around southern California during 2012 and 2013.

On March 26, 2014, news of the fourth sequel being completed was released via various film news sites. The next day, a teaser trailer debuted on the film's official site. 

<<<This... is that teaser. (obviously)

4/15 Phantasm IV: Oblivion

4/15/14
Phantasm IV: Oblivion
Otherwise known as 'Phantasm OblIVion

"My name is Reggie. I was an ice cream vendor by trade. Now, I'm a soldier..."

IMDB.com Rating: 5.7 out of 10

Availability: Still in print moderately priced.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7C2I3hvqnQ

Watch Online: Nope.
OH SHIT! Moment: When Reggie pulls off a woman's shirt to reveal two silver death spheres in place of her breasts. Don't worry -- a picture will soon follow.

Food and Beverage Pairing: Warm pretzels with cheese sauce and mustard on the side, and a case of Shiner Bock.

This is a simple food and beverage pairing; but trust me -- it'll taste great. I have no reason for choosing this other than it's simple and appetizing. 

_________________________________________________________________________________

Tony Schilli, here; and tonight we have a whole lot of death, destruction and, of course, The Tall Man and an army of his evil zombie-dwarf monks with the movie that made the 'Phantasm' trilogy a tetralogy -- I'm speaking, of course, of 'Phantasm IV: Oblivion'. You know, watching these kinds of movies makes me want to be an existentialist. If death is always stalking you, what's it matter how you spend your life -- I mean, it's meaningless no matter how you slice it. I decided if I'm going to be an existentialist, I'd first figure out what kind of existentialist I'd be. There's atheist existentialists and religious existentialists. I'd think being a religious existentialist would be like being a gifted republican -- something just doesn't add up. And to be an atheist existentialist; well, for my own health, I'd better not. It'd be like living out an Andrew W.K. song. I'd die from having too much fun. There's agnostic existentialist, but that's just a indecisive way of saying life is subjective. Am I boring you yet? For obvious reason, I'm not going to be a Christian, black or Jewish existentialist. I could be a feminist existentialist, but I don't really care for Joni Mitchell or acoustic music. Cosmicism believes in astral-projection, but if I'm going to be an existentialist, I'm doing it to have fun. Anyway, long story short, I decided that existential nihilism was the one for me; and boy, I couldn't be happier. I walk around the apartment complex in my bathrobe all day, I throw the neighbor's cats in the swimming pool just to see them poop from fright, I buy things on eBay and never pay for them, I hide packaged meat in the chip aisle at the grocery store, I lock everyone's bicycles together at the community college. The other day, I went to a coffee house, waited until I made it up to the front of the line and took a phone call, all the while holding my index finger up, letting the barista know I'd only be "one second". I don't even drink coffee. I've been making all kinds of risky decisions just for fun. Recently, I even went to Vegas; and yes, I lost all my money. But I didn't lose it gambling -- I just talked on a lot of payphones.

That was a lot of work just for that one joke.

Anyway, tonight's movie is 'Phantasm IV: Oblivion'. Of all the 'Phantasm' films, this is definitely one of 'em. This one takes place where 'III' left off. There's less killing and less blood. But what we do have is a well-paced acid trip that delightfully confuses from start to finish. Mike, Jody and Reggie are back -- somehow. Every movie, they kill off Reggie, or so it appears. And every next movie, we find Reggie was only playing dead, or something like that. I'm cool with it, because that dude's pretty awesome. Think about it -- he shouldn't even be a plot device; but because he was friends with Mike and Jody, he volunteers his service -- and his Hemi-Cuda and four-barreled sawed-off shotgun -- for four movies worth of ass-kicking. He is definitely a deserving face-of-the-franchise.

Reggie is still chasing Mike and The Tall Man across the country. The Tall Man's intentions are finally revealed. He wants to turn Mike into his partner and take over every town together, hellbent on eventual world domination. Mike, unsure of how to react to anything, runs from The Tall Man. His trip takes him through several dimensions.It's interesting we see The Tall Man as more than a representation of death -- but as a normal person. Angus Scrimm does such a fantastic job playing an evil, ancient bastard, you're really taken back when he acts like a normal, pleasing old man. The whole movie is entertaining, but clearly the best is when Reggie loads up with ammo, knives, and -- of course -- his old ice cream vendor get-up complete with black bow tie. 

On my scale:
Overall Enjoyment ----12
Redeeming Qualities---13
Rewatchability---------7
Directing/Quality------7
Plot/Storyline----------6
Pacing-----------------7
Dialogue/Writing-------5
Acting-----------------5
TOTAL---------------62

For a series that plays out like a dream -- surreal and sometimes frightening-- this leaves you feeling paranoid and not in-control. It's those feelings this saga evokes which really emphasizes how great this franchise is. Plenty of gore, blood, and embalming fluid make even the least-best of the series worth a watch. This film attempts to answer the questions from the previous three, but not without leaving you confused. I guess since 'Phantasm V' is about to be released, you probably didn't expect this to end on a happy note. It's almost as though this series was done in the same vein as 'Lost'. Convenient for Don Coscarelli, he filmed a lot of extra scenes during the shooting of the original, so he was able to throw in a lot of unseen footage to tie in the series better. I'd give this effort a solid 3 stars -- maybe 3 and 1/2 on a good day. There's only one way for you to judge this one -- and that's to watch it yourself. 

'Inseminoid' Trailer

INSEMINOID

"Somewhere in the depths of space... A horrific nightmare is about to become reality"

IMDB.com Rating: 3.4 out of 10

Availability: In print and moderately priced

'Inseminoid" is a British science-fiction horror film released in 1981. Director Norman J. Warren's eighth film, the plot of 'Inseminoid' concerns a group of future scientists excavating the ruins of an ancient civilization on a distant planet. The crew of interplanetary archaeologists are threatened when an alien creature impregnates one of their members, causing her to turn homicidal and murder them one by one. 

Movie Facts 'JAWS'

DO YOU CARE?
Jaws

DO YOU CARE that over 67-million Americans saw this film in its original theatrical run, making 'Jaws' the first summer "blockbuster" ever? In that time, Robert Shaw had to flee the country because he was in deep trouble with the IRS.

DO YOU CARE several decades after the film's release, Lee Fierro, who plays Mrs. Kintner, walked into a seafood restaurant and noticed the menu had an "Alex Kintner Sandwich"? And after commenting that she had played his mother in the film, the owner of the restaurant ran out to meet her -- who was none other than Jeffrey Voorhees, who had played her son.


<<<AND DO YOU CARE during filming of 'Jaws' one of the mechanical sharks was lost at sea during a storm, left to float the ocean until sinking in the depths somewhere?

Oscar Moments

Academy Award Snubs

1991's, 'Showdown in Little Tokyo'

"This may sound strange for a cop: Let's get the fuck out of here."

IMDB.com Rating: 5.9 out of 10

Availability: Still in print and cheap

For 400 years, Japan has been home to a secret criminal organization dedicated to its own supremacy in the underworld. Ruled by an ancient, arcane code of honor, the deadly Yakuza have been among the most feared members of society. Even today, they are immediately recognizable by the stunningly ornate tattoos that cover their bodies. Now the Yakuza are coming to Los Angeles. But in America, they're going to meet their match. Two cops are on their trail. One's an American raised in Japan. He's got the mind and spirit of a samurai, and the body of a human fighting machine. The other's a Japanese-American raised in California's San Fernando Valley. He's into malls, pizza and MTV. But he can disarm five gunmen with his bare feet. One's a warrior. One's a wise-ass. Together they've got what it takes to remove some tattoos from Little Tokyo. 'Showdown in Little Tokyo' stars action favorite Dolph Lundgren as Chris Kenner, a man fighting for his adopted heritage and his family's honor; and Brandon Lee, in his first American film role, as Johnny Murata, a guy whose idea of a good time includes knowing where--and how--to get his kicks. Opposites in attitude, once they get on the streets, they're a perfect odd couple. And what they have in common is their enemy--the Yakuza; who are bringing a lethal new drug trade to Los Angeles, coupled with a macabre taste for violence and cruelty.

4/14 Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead

4/14/14
Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead

"Dominate me, baby!" ~ Reggie Bannister

IMDB.com Rating: 6.0 out of 10

Availability: Still in print moderately priced.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcITGTx6SbI

Watch Online: No such luck. 
OH SHIT! Moment: Seeing a child brutally murder three robbers

Food and Beverage Pairing: Vegan Meatball (of death) Sub and Corpse Reviver #1

Directions:

8 soy meatballs (from any hip grocery store)
1/4 cup marinara sauce
2 hoagie rolls, sliced in half lengthwise
1/4 cup grated vegan mozzarella (try Follow Your Heart brand)

•Preheat the broiler to low.

•Heat the meatballs and the sauce in the microwave or on the stove top until warm.

•Place four meatballs on each hoagie roll, top with half of the marinara and grated soy cheese, and place on an aluminum foil-lined baking sheet.

•Place under the broiler until the bread is toasted and the soy cheese has started to melt, about 3 minutes.

AND NOW, THE COCKTAIL:

Ingredients:

• 1 oz Cognac
• 1 oz Calvados or other apple brandy
• .5 oz Sweet vermouth

Directions:

Add all the ingredients to a shaker and fill with ice. Shake well and strain into a cocktail glass. Maybe, peel a grape and float it in your drink. Pretend it's an eyeball.

_________________________________________________________________________________

If the title of this post didn't give it away, you may truly be an idiot. On the docket tonight, the ex-ice cream slinger, Reggie, is back in Don Coscarelli's 'Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead'. You can't keep The Tall Man down. There's something about that guy; he just keeps coming back -- mostly for that SAG-required paycheck. And back, too -- the Hemi-Cuda! You know, The Tall Man kind of reminds me of a friend of mine -- always showing up and never wanted. How many times can you go, "hey, Kenny. My family likes you alright; but seriously, when you see everyone's car parked in front of my house, that's not an invitation for you to come over too". Hey, it's like they say. "One's cool. Two's plenty. Three's a crowd. And Kenny will just get get drunk and piss in your kitchen sink". He's the kind of guy who'll drink your J&B and then help you split firewood in the morning, only to drive the hatchet into his shin and have to go to the emergency room. Is that specific? Yeah? That's because he did that. He's the kind of guy who will wet the bed -- standing up... Again, specific? Yep, that's Kenny. So because it's the right thing to do, he washed the sheets -- but didn't use fabric softener. Now, it's like sleeping on rough, fabric tote bags; or so I've heard.... I mean, I'm not sleeping on the pee-bed ever again. The first chance I had, I gave it to my sister. It's her problem now; but she deserved it for being a dick my entire childhood.

And speaking of exacting revenge, tonight's movie is the third installment of the saga that gave evil living-dead dwarf-monks a bad reputation, 'Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead'. This one sees our resident out-of-work ice-cream jerk, Reggie, and the brothers, Mike and Jody, reunite to seek some retribution for two movies worth of bad luck, beat-downs and bullshit, all courtesy of The Tall Man. 

For this sequel, we have:

9 Dead people, including 2 who get killed three times and 1 who gets killed 4

4 Dead dwarfs

1 Exploding dwarf head

1 Death-by-embalming

2 Flying sphere-lobotomies

1 Tomahawk to the face

1 Throat-slicing Frisbee

1 Badass Hemi-Cuda

1 Four-barreled sawed-off shotgun

1 Case of blue balls

2 Crawling hands, complete with razor-sharp teeth

1 Spinning-head decapitation

Multiple lobotomies

Spear-chucking

Skin-melting

And, brain-petting

You know, this movie did for flying metal spheres with razor-sharp stabbing devices, drills and blood pumps as 'Jaws' did for the ocean... Or something like that. You'd think after two films, this plot would wear thin; but then, in the first couple minutes, Reggie blows a dwarf's head clean off and you wonder why it took so long to do a third installment. This one answers all the questions we've had; primarily the one about "what controls those flying death spheres". Answer: a tiny brain. Makes sense, right..? I'll explain later.

In the first act, we begin by killing off the love-connection that 'Phantasm II' built up. They pull an 'Alien 3' when our lady-lead, Liz, gets decapitated five minutes in. Did you catch the alliteration in that last sentence? Follow this with a grenade-threat and the graphic death of a evil zombie-nurse and you've seen enough to know you're in for good time. The real treat comes with the introduction of a murdering, psychotic child who brutally kills several people. He, too, is looking for a little payback for The Tall Man.

Are you ready for tonight's lesson? Here's how to make a flying death sphere:

 STEP ONE: Send the recently dead to another dimension -- one with a heavier gravity. 

          Fine Print Note: Because of the gravity, their bodies get crushed down to dwarf-size.

STEP TWO: When they travel back to Earth, fit them for monk-attire and hire them as evil henchmen. The ones who don't get brought on as evil zombie dwarf-monks get a full lobotomy. 

STEP THREE: Their brains are then placed into those flying death spheres, gaining

 complete control. 

And there you have it. Simple, right?

Now, back to the movie. The second act is complete with more blood and gore. Lots of heads get smashed to bejeezus. By the time the finale comes, you're left shouting, "WHAM BAM -- WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?!" As a straight-to-video movie, it's excellent. The quality and effects are not sacrificed. This is a movie that was well-worth my time and money. By now, Don Coscarelli is done making statements. It's the same as before -- just that embalming is super-creepy. This movie, though it plays out like an acid-trip, is well paced and easy to follow.

On my scale:
Overall Enjoyment ----13
Redeeming Qualities---15
Rewatchability---------6
Directing/Quality------7
Plot/Storyline----------5
Pacing-----------------8
Dialogue/Writing-------6
Acting-----------------5
TOTAL---------------65

I gotta say, if you're of fan of the genre, this is one of the best horror franchises. The 'Phantasm' movies never disappoint. There's plenty of blood, guts and embalming fluid to satisfy. 4 Stars. You gotta watch this one. 

I know this is from number 2, but they reuse the footage in the beginning of this one; and it's so awesome, I couldn't NOT share it. Good use of a double negative, ehh?