6/2 The Mutilator

THE MUTILATOR

"Another one of those smart-ass college kids, talking themselves into buying two 6-packs instead of one."

IMDB.com Rating: 5.1 out of 10

Availability: Barely in-print and expensive.

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2-F54_q-os

Watch Online: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pdg_LKp0tVc
OH SHIT! Moment: Cut in half by a car, the killer still manages to chop off the leg of a police officer with a battle axe.

Beverage: An Axe Murderer

Ingredients:

DISCLAIMER: Not a real picture of this cocktail.

3/4 oz rum
3/4 oz apple juice
3/4 oz gin
1 splash soda (7-up, Sprite)
1 splash tequila
1 splash orange liqueur
1 splash vodka
1 splash peach liqueur
1 splash amaretto
1 splash grenadine syrup

Method:
Mix in a shaker and serve in an Old-Fashioned glass.

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Ten, or so, years after Ed Jr. accidentally shots his ma' dead on his father's birthday, Ed Sr. decides it's time to pay his son back, retribution-style. Tonight's movie is the off-beat slasher, 'The Mutilator'. 

I'm at a point where I'm watching a lot of movies I own but have never seen. 'The Mutilator' falls under that category. It's about time I get around to this, especially since I'm in a killer-movie mood. This week, after all, will be devoted to mostly 1980s slasher films. To quote Anakin Skywalker, "YIPPEEEE!"

And speaking of bastard children, as I mentioned, the film begins with Ed Jr. accidentally shooting his mom dead on his dad's birthday. Happy birthday, dad! From that point, Ed Jr. losses the affection of his father as the two ultimately become estranged; and more than likely, Junior probably went the next ten years of his life having fish sticks or microwaved meat loaf for dinner at least four times a week. But I digress. As Ed Sr. sits there with his dead wife, he opens his bar globe, pours a glass of booze, and sips from it, occasionally putting the glass up to his fresh-dead wife's mouth... Because that's normal. . .

Fast forward the present 1985. Ed Jr. and his friends are in college and on fall break (which is interesting because 'Fall Break' was the original title of the picture). Junior gets a call from his dad asking him to go to their beach condo to close it up for the winter. "I got a bad feeling about this", jokes Ralph, the group's zany comic relief. A ridiculous title credit pops up to the tune of "Fall Break" by The Breakers. Never heard of them? That's because they're comprised of the film's director and crew. "Gonna have a good time. Goin' on a fall break", The Breakers joyfully sing, while a drinking-and-driving-in-a-convertible montage plays.

Finally, once the song and credits end, the friends arrive at the condo (which is located across the street from a trailer park). The kitchen walls are lined with what appears to be bathroom floor tiles or a picnic table clothe; and the counters are filled with empty liqueur bottles. There's a beautiful hunting room with all sorts of dead things, creepy masks, weapons, and a framed picture of a guy who Big Ed accidentally ran over with a ski boat. And, of course, there's a lovely, dark garage complete with more weapons, wall spikes and, yes, a hidden and passed-out, insane Big Ed, fresh from his drinking binge the night before and sleeping with a battle axe.


With dialogue like:
"What's down here? A mask of the Sun God, Zeus?"
"Or the Moon God, Goose",

it's a wonder why the Academy didn't recognize this film for anything.

To follow that beautifully written line and equally superb acting, we are graciously given the most excruciating-to-watch pool scene and rather unique kills. One of the swimmers drowns and the other overacts his bloody death while Big Ed sends a chainsaw through his stomach. A police officer gets stabbed in the face with a 2x4 (?) and then decapitated (because why not). The zany Ralph gets a pitchfork through the throat; and Ralph's girlfriend, Sue, gets hooked with a fishing gaff (or a gigantic fish hook) in the crotch and decapitated. Finally, Big Ed is subdued and cut in half with the group's car; but that doesn't stop ol' Ed, who manages to chop off a policeman's leg with a battle axe as he lay there in half from the waist up. As "Fall Break" plays out the movie's credits, we are given a true gift -- the film's gag reel. 

Really.

On my scale:
Overall Enjoyment ----11
Redeeming Qualities--12
Rewatchability---------7

Fun/Special Effects---8

Directing/Quality------4
Plot/Storyline----------3
Pacing-----------------5
Dialogue/Acting-------2
TOTAL---------------52

I wanted to like this movie a lot, and admittedly, I enjoyed it; but my overall score doesn't really show it that way. 'The Mutilator' has poor pacing and shoddy camera work. The transfer is lacking since the original 35 mm prints are terribly hard to find (if they even exist). The acting and dialogue are complete shit. Most of the scenes have horrid lighting, especially in the second act. You can look at almost every aspect of this film -- except the gore -- and toss heavy criticism its way; however, it might be my ability to forgive a film for its shortcomings -- because it sure as shit ain't the indelible performances -- but I found myself enjoying tonight's feature. I can't recommend anyone buying the DVD, since it usually goes for a decent amount of money; but if you really wanted to watch it, there's a good version on YouTube (above) that'll be well-worth your time. If nothing else, this film's good for a few laughs.Tony says, "Check it out". 4 Stars. Best of 1985.