SLEEPAWAY CAMP"Burt Reynolds?"
IMDB.com Rating: 6.1 out of 10
Availability: In-print and moderately-priced.
Watch Online: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pjjuFT6QF4
OH SHIT! Moment: The finale, when you're shown a real doozy of an ending.
OH SHIT! Moment: The finale, when you're shown a real doozy of an ending.
Beverage: A Campfire Confessional
- 2 oz cognac (Hennessy recommended)
- ¾ oz fresh lemon juice
- ¾ oz fresh orange juice
- ¾ oz Pok Pok Som honey drinking vinegar
- 1 oz water
- 3 dashes Angostura bitters
- 1 pinch fresh herbs: a free-form mixture of rosemary, thyme, sweet woodruff, or anything edible you find on the forest floor
Method:
Shake everything up in a mason jar. Screw the lid on tight. Stick the jar in your backpack (or refrigerator, since you're probably watching this at home). Drink around sundown. No ice required.
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At Camp Arawak, boys and girls can mingle and experience the joys nature together. There's a lake, baseball fields, plenty of woods -- lots of stuff to keep a young child occupied. Unfortunately, some of the campers have a tendency to end up dead; but pay no mind to that -- why, it's just a hazard of being young. I mean, sure, it's not often a kid gets dismembered when away at camp, but accidents will happen; and, boys will be boys...
Tonight's triple feature is the 'Sleepaway Camp' trilogy. Yes, I'm aware it's actually a pentalogy; but for all intents and purposes, tonight -- it's a trilogy.
This film is your typical slasher with a nice twist at the end. Next to 'Pieces', 'Sleepaway Camp' is probably the second most shocking ending to a horror film. Additionally, this movie is like a fine wine, getting better with age. Every viewing of the movie makes me love it more and more; which says a lot since the director only has a handful of films to his credit (both as a director and crew member), all of them having the words "Sleepaway" and "Camp" in the title. Basically what I'm saying -- for a novice, Robert Hiltzik did a pretty good job.
In the cast, the only real noteworthy actor is James Earl Jones. . .'s dad, Robert Earl Jones. He plays Ben, the assistant chef. In the kitchen with him is Artie, a real creeper. "There ain't no such thing as being too young. You're just too old" he tells Ben. Additionally, the camp is run by an insensitive creeper, Mel (Mike Kellin, 'Midnight Express). But unlike the aforementioned Artie, Mel prefers to cop a feel on the older campers. And of course, playing the lead of Angela is Felissa Rose.
After the death of her father and twin sibling eight years prior, Angela and her cousin Ricky are shipped off to summer camp by their thespian-esque aunt/mother. Once they arrive, Angela gets picked on, Ricky constantly comes to her rescue and someone starts murdering everyone who's been causing Angela grief. With awesomely bad acting from Ricky, the movie plays out like any violent camp/slasher would -- with lots of deaths, corny backtalk and a baseball game.
In honor of Joe Bob Briggs, we have:
13 deaths
Death-by-bees, while sitting on a toilet
A curling iron in the no-no parts
A chef burnt to Toxic Avenger-levels
Bloody shower knifing
An arrow through the throat
Gratuitous softball-playing
Gratuitous snake slithering out of dead kid's mouth
Gratuitous water balloon fight
And a special mention to Karen Fields's portrayal of the incredible bitch, Judy (below), for the line, "(You're) a real carpenter's dream -- flat as a board and in need of a screw!"
On my scale:
Overall Enjoyment ----18
Redeeming Qualities--17
Rewatchability---------10
Overall Enjoyment ----18
Redeeming Qualities--17
Rewatchability---------10
Fun/Special Effects---10
Directing/Quality------8
Plot/Storyline----------6
Pacing-----------------8
Dialogue/Acting-------3
TOTAL---------------80
Plot/Storyline----------6
Pacing-----------------8
Dialogue/Acting-------3
TOTAL---------------80
FINAL TOTAL W/ BONUS POINTS --- 81.3
SLEEPAWAY CAMP 2: UNHAPPY CAMPERS
"He went into a psycho ward a couple of years ago and while he was there, the doctors gave him a sex change. . . and our parents' taxes paid for it..."
IMDB.com Rating: 5.6 out of 10
Availability: Out-of-print and usually cheap.
Watch Online: Oddly, not on YouTube
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"What are you staring at? Haven't you even seen a pair of boobs before?"
"Aww, leave her alone, Ally. I mean, she's only looking at that long black hair growing out of your nipple."
Oh, 'Sleepaway Camp 2: Unhappy Campers'. How poetic your dialogue is. Angela's back... and this time, she's all girl.
Playing the role of Angela is Bruce Springsteen's sister, Pamela; and one of the most frightening scenes of the film is when she sings the "happy campers" song. Musically talented, she is not. Acting next to her is Renee' Estevez, Charlie Sheen and Emilio Estevez's sister.
'Unhappy Campers' finds Angela sneaking her way back into camp because she, for some reason, loves it so much; and this time, she's a camp counselor. After winning "Counselor of the Week", you'd think she could do no wrong; but once she starts offing the bad campers, everyone starts causing a panic. Leading the charge of rotten campers is Ally, who goes topless at least half of the movie.
For this film, we have:
19 dead bodies
6 breasts
Burning
Drilling
Bludgeoning with a branch
Chainsawing
Tongue-cutting
Throat-slashing
Back-stabbing
Drowning in a leech-filled out-house Strangling
BBQ-ed to death
Acid in the face
Decapitation
And Angela dresses as 'Leatherface' to kill two campers dressed as Freddy and Jason
On my scale:
Overall Enjoyment ----14
Redeeming Qualities--17
Rewatchability---------7
Overall Enjoyment ----14
Redeeming Qualities--17
Rewatchability---------7
Fun/Special Effects---8
Directing/Quality------3
Plot/Storyline----------2
Pacing-----------------7
Dialogue/Acting-------2
TOTAL---------------59
Plot/Storyline----------2
Pacing-----------------7
Dialogue/Acting-------2
TOTAL---------------59
FINAL TOTAL W/ BONUS POINT --- 60.9
SLEEPAWAY CAMP 3: TEENAGE WASTELAND
"I've never chopped wood before... but I've chopped other things."
IMDB.com Rating: 5.1 out of 10
Availability: Out-of-print and usually cheap.
Watch Online: You're just going to have to buy this.
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"What's a fantastic way to begin a film", you ask? With someone getting run-the-fuck-over by a tractor trailer driven by Angela. If you haven't guessed it by now, the final film of the night if 'Sleepaway Camp 3: Teenage Wasteland'.This entry has Pamela Springsteen reprising her role as Angela. Starring beside her is Tracy Griffith (Melanie Griffith's sister), and academy-award nominee, Michael J. Pollard.
Dressed up as an inner city girl's doppelganger, Angela offs her young thug lookalike by running her over with a stolen truck. Posing as the girl, Angela sneaks her way into a new summer camp -- one specifically for rich kids and inner city punks. Angela begins to suspect everyone is evil and begins killing again; and, again, we have another plot-less film. But don't let that stop you from watching, because this is almost as entertaining as its predecessor. The film's best moments -- an homage; while fishing, Angela reels in a hockey mask like the one Jason wears. She asks what day it is, and someone replies "Saturday the 14th". And let's not forget when Angela gives a newswoman some fake cocaine. As she overdoses, Angela says, "one of the dangers of being a drug addict is never really knowing if the stuff is pure" -- so, you can see the writing is just as well-done as the second film, too.
For tonight's finale, we have:
17 deaths
8 breasts
An exploding fish
Bludgeoning with a branch
Face-exploding
Burning
Decapitation
Head-smashing
Buried from the neck down in trash while head get run-over with a lawnmower
Limb-ripping
Shooting
An overly-racist valley girl
A hip-hop-loving inner city guy with a boombox (who, SIDENOTE: plays the same instrumental song throughout the entire film)
And one really bad daydream if Angela singing the 'happy campers' song and being applauded for it.
On my scale:
Overall Enjoyment ----13
Redeeming Qualities--11
Rewatchability---------5
Fun/Special Effects---6
Directing/Quality------3
Plot/Storyline----------2
Pacing-----------------6
Dialogue/Acting-------2
TOTAL---------------48
FINAL TOTAL W/ BONUS POINTS --- 49.7
Overall Enjoyment ----13
Redeeming Qualities--11
Rewatchability---------5
Fun/Special Effects---6
Directing/Quality------3
Plot/Storyline----------2
Pacing-----------------6
Dialogue/Acting-------2
TOTAL---------------48
FINAL TOTAL W/ BONUS POINTS --- 49.7
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