MONSTERVISION

My childhood, summed up in one word: "MonsterVision"

MONSTERVISION

A Retrospective

As you can tell from this blog, I'm a huge lover of monster movies. As a kid growing up in the '80s and '90s, my exposure to horror was simple. Before the internet, the ways you'd find out about movies were through video rental stores and word-of-mouth; but for me, my main exposure was through basic cable. This is where MonsterVision comes in. 

Like any child in my neighborhood, I spent most of my time playing outside. Once the streetlights would turn on and the sun began to set, I'd come inside. That's when I'd indulge myself with television. And on a Saturday night, nothing was better than TNT. From 1993 to 2000, They aired a program, fantastic for showing the monster movies I loved and longed for. They called it "MonsterVision". 

It's funny, as I reminisce, I almost romanticize MonsterVision; because it was such a fantastic part of my childhood.

In it's initial run, it was strictly horror, science fiction and fantasy. Their movie marathons would run several movies, beginning at 8:00 p.m. and ending at dawn. Every Sunday morning, I would wake and check the newspaper for the TV Guide. Excited, I'd look ahead to the next weekend's programming to see what I kind of a lineup I could expect. Once Saturday evening would hit, I'd park myself in front of the television. Most weekends, I spent the night at my grandparents'. I was camped out with enough snacks and soda to keep me sugared-up for at least the first three movies. Popcorn, candy, nachos, frozen soda and ice cream -- by all accounts, I should have diabetes by now. 

Every marathon would have a theme. For one month, they had a 'Godzilla' marathon. Another time had Ray Harryhausen films. They'd present a fantastic blend of old and new. Stars like Bob Denver, Jason Alexander and the comedian/magicians, Penn & Teller would guest-host; but by '94, the ratings were running thin. After a couple months break, MonsterVision came back for a Christmas Special. That night, they aired one of the worst lineups. With films like 'The Giant Claw', 'The Cyclops', 'It Came From Hell' and 'The Wasp Woman' (all of which I own...) its holiday return was stale. It seemed the end was near. 

ENTER: Joe Bob Briggs.

Then, in early 1995, Joe Bob Briggs came to TNT and MonsterVision was back. With better programming and a full-time host, MonsterVision made a forceful comeback. Joe Bob, who was known for his avowed love of the drive-in, made for the perfect guide. Every movie had his trademark -- the "Drive-In Totals" -- tallying up everything from the number of breasts and deaths to head and limb rolling and the different types of kills. Every fight had "fu" added to it. If there was a chainsaw fight, he'd call it "chainsaw fu". And every over-the-top moment would be "Gratuitous". His descriptions made even the worst plots seem ridiculously fun. When he'd finish, he'd always give it '4 Stars' and say, "Best of (whatever year). Roll it". And then he'd keep on talking. Every part about his monologues seemed unscripted. And watching him sit there, drinking Shiner Bock, gave the show a fun, relaxed feel.


Joe Bob always seemed to have animosity towards the network and censorship. He was so honest, sometimes I swore they were going to cancel the show in the middle of airing. This is where MonsterVision's biggest dilemma came in -- when they aired old movies, nothing had to be edited; but once Joe Bob took over and the programming became more contemporary, many of the kills had to be cut. In essence, the only part that kept many coming back was for Joe Bob's commentary and humor. 

Sadly, in 2000, MonsterVision was finally canceled. I know it won't come back. Now, I have to resort to buying burnt DVDs of taped episodes to get my M.V. fix. It's not the same. I know when Kara and I have children, one of the ways I'm going to try and connect with them is through film. It's good to know I can rely on those DVDs and my old VHS tapes to help paint a picture of my childhood. I'm glad I'll be able to share that with them and, for the moment, I'm glad I can do a little bit of the same with you. Thank you for reading.