GHIDORAH THE THREE-HEADED MONSTER
"Ah, these monsters are as stupid as human beings."
IMDB.com Rating: 6.6 out of 10
Availability: In-print and cheaply-priced
Watch Online: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnSyu1JLLxo
OH SHIT! Moment: Ghidorah emerges from a giant, radioactive shell, shooting lightning bolts from his three heads.
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OH SHIT! Moment: Ghidorah emerges from a giant, radioactive shell, shooting lightning bolts from his three heads.
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A deadly plot of some gangsters, who are dressed like they're fresh from the renaissance fair, leads to the assassination attempt of a princess; but when she decides to jump out of her airplane -- while in mid-flight -- the airplane explodes killing every passenger and leaving the Yakuza to believe they've successfully snuffed the royal highness. But when a vagabond who looks exactly like the princess pops up in the newspaper claiming to be an alien -- because in this movie, aliens exist and are common knowledge to the people of Japan -- the Yakuza and a journalist begin to get suspicious. Meanwhile, a bunch of onlookers are standing at the base of a giant hole that SHOCKER, a monster lives in. From the hole emerges a previously established Kaiju, Rodan. And, in another part of Japan, scientists study a giant, radioactive, magnetic dome from outer space which SHOCKER, houses a different monster, Ghidorah. Assisting in the movie are Mothra's twin pixies, who explain to everyone what is going on. Annnnd, of course, SHOCKER, Godzilla arises from the sea to trample Japan for no reason whatsoever. Rodan and Godzilla fight in the beautiful Japanese countryside and Ghidorah busts free of its dome and terrorizes mainland Japan. At this time, the Yakuza are in hot pursuit of the princess, who still believes she's an alien. With Ghidorah bearing down on the populous, the pixies twins know the world's only chance at survival is for the monsters to put aside their monster difference and fight Ghidorah. They sing their song and Mothra -- who is still in its larval stage, so Larvra? -- shows up to talk some sense into Godzilla and Rodan. Really. The twins narrate everything the monsters say, since no one on Earth speaks monster... As the three tag team it and fight King Ghidorah for the greater good of the world, an exciting climax awaits as the Yakuza finally catch the princess.
This is a turning point in the series because this was the moment when Godzilla finally started to become a good guy. All and all, it's a fantastic effort. Godzilla in 'Ghidorah: The Three-Headed Monster' is not the Saurian who destroyed Tokyo ten years prior; but a lizard champion who was on his way to idol-status. By the way, I said "his". Godzilla's gender was never established, so for all intents and purposes, he's a he. I'd strongly recommend this entry for anyone wanting to see a fun Godzilla movie. It was well-worth my time and energy, as well as my money. Ghidorah, with his three heads, two tails and zero arms, is one of the coolest bad guys from this series; so to see his introduction into the series is nothing short of great.
On my scale:
Overall Enjoyment ----18
Redeeming Qualities--15
Rewatchability---------8
Overall Enjoyment ----18
Redeeming Qualities--15
Rewatchability---------8
Fun/Special Effects---10
Directing/Quality------6
Plot/Storyline----------6
Pacing-----------------7
Dialogue/Acting-------4
TOTAL---------------74
Plot/Storyline----------6
Pacing-----------------7
Dialogue/Acting-------4
TOTAL---------------74
INVASION OF ASTRO-MONSTER
"You? Well, this is a funny place to meet. Yeah, I'm gonna die laughing."
IMDB.com Rating: 6.3 out of 10
Availability: In-print and cheaply-priced.
Watch Online: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFRYG4NYFc0
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After the established knowledge of aliens from the previous film, Japan sends a few astronauts to Planet X to make contact with a new alien race. The aliens tell the Earthlings about their problems, just like the whiny aliens they are. Ghidorah now lives on Planet X, lightning bolt-ing the shit out of the aliens. The world agrees to lend them Rodan and Godzilla in exchange for the universe's greatest medicine (laughter?). Unfortunately, after they make the trade, Earth finds out they've been duped. Instead, the aliens give the Earthlings a warning, telling them to surrender their weapons and to become their slaves. The aliens brainwash Godzilla and Rodan into thinking the Earth must be destroyed. Unless the humans surrender, Godzilla, Ghidorah and Rodan will be sent back home to see to the total destruction of our planet. Only a few scientists who think they know how to break the mind-spell of the monsters can save Earth from pure destruction.
Welp, considering there's a whole mess of Godzilla movies that were made after this one, I think we all know how it turns out. 'Invasion of Astro-Monster' has better sets than some the previous Godzilla films, and stars a former Hollywood leading man, Nick Adams; but nothing can save the film from its incredibly dumb plot and shitty acting. This film isn't a bad effort -- I mean, it is a Godzilla movie, so anything is possible and usually acceptable. You can take it or leave it with this picture; but that's not to say I didn't like it. I found it to be a bit of fun; but I can recognize a bad movie when I see it. A bad Godzilla movie is like bad pizza -- it doesn't exist (or at least if it does, you're usually too drunk to care).
If nothing else, this entry in the series did give us
The Godzilla Dance
On my scale:
Overall Enjoyment ----11
Redeeming Qualities--13
Rewatchability---------6
Overall Enjoyment ----11
Redeeming Qualities--13
Rewatchability---------6
Fun/Special Effects---7
Directing/Quality------4
Plot/Storyline----------7
Pacing-----------------6
Dialogue/Acting-------5
TOTAL---------------59
Plot/Storyline----------7
Pacing-----------------6
Dialogue/Acting-------5
TOTAL---------------59
GODZILLA vs. THE SEA MONSTER
"This is one lobster you don't want to order!"
IMDB.com Rating: 5.0 out of 10
Availability: In-print and moderately-priced
Watch Online: Not on YouTube.
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The miniatures are back and in full force, in Godzilla on Gilligan's Island, err, 'Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster'. A teenager, Ryota, looking for his older brother, who was lost at sea, meets two other teens fresh off their loss in a dance contest. They go to the shipyard and sneak onto a boat, who happens to be inhabited, presumably, by the boat's owner (who we shortly thereafter find out is actually a thief). He lets them stay the night and in the morning, they find Ryota untied the boat and they've begun sailing the sea. After the bunch gets caught in a storm and attacked by a giant crawdad, they wake up on the beaches of Letchi Island. The evil Red Bamboo army has taken up residence on the island, enslaving tribe members from Mothra's Infant Island, where they are forced to mine a liquid which looks a lot like butter. The butter protects them from the giant crawdad, Ebirah. While running away from the Red Bamboo, our heroes find a cave which Godzilla is sleeping in. Afraid of waking him up, they leave the cave and make a fake bush to hide behind while they attempt to break into the Red Bamboo's fortress, 'Scooby Doo'-style. As the bush inches closer to the fortress walls, they almost get spotted for making too much noise. Luckily, with the spotlights bearing down on them, one of the group releases a bird she's been holding, leading the guards to think the bird was making the noise (thus proving a bird in the hand is worth two -- or five -- in the bush..?). When one of them get captured and Ryota gets his foot caught on a giant balloon and drifts away, the rest have no choice but to wake up Godzilla. Meanwhile, Ryota somehow lands on Infant Island and finds his brother, conveniently. The brothers travel back to Letchi Island to save their friends, and, of course, get attacked by Ebirah along the way. Godzilla arises from his cave to kick some Red Bamboo ass and fight Ebirah (which leads into a volleyball match between the two monsters and a rock. Really). Ebirah retreats and Godzilla takes another nap; but wakes when a giant bird attacks him. He kills the monster with his usual radioactive halitosis and the beast crash-lands in the ocean. The fight is completed with a Godzilla victory dance. The action is quickly followed with a fighter jet attack; but they stand zero chance as the Saurian beast awesomely destroys the living-shit outta the Red Bamboo fly boys. Godzilla then preforms the hat trick by beating the shit out of Ebirah and ripping its claws off. As most of the Red Bamboo have been killed by either Ebirah or Godzilla, they set rig the island to explode. Mothra comes to save the slaves; but Godzilla's still got a score to settle, so the two duke it out. After some short fisticuffs, Mothra quickly flies away with the slaves and our heroes in a homemade people-carrier made from bamboo and probably coconuts, 'Gilligan's Island'-style. Everyone yells to Godzilla to get off the island before it explodes. Luckily, Godzilla speaks Japanese and jumps into the ocean right before the island explodes. "Well, that island's gone forever", one of our heroes says. And we're left with Godzilla swimming away safely. Phew. That was a close one.
"Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster' has a beautiful opening and some of the best sets of the original Godzilla series. It also has some of the worst acting, even by Godzilla standards. With lines like "Have you gone blind" being said to a one-eyed man, the writing and humor isn't too much better. Also, there's some of the worst fake-cliff diving in this. The action and miniatures, however, are a great deal of fun in this entry. If this means anything, up to this point, this is probably my favorite of the Godzilla sequels. Tony says, "check it out". Best of 1966. 4 stars.
On my scale:
Overall Enjoyment ----18
Redeeming Qualities--17
Rewatchability---------9
Fun/Special Effects---8
Directing/Quality------3
Plot/Storyline----------2
Pacing-----------------8
Dialogue/Acting-------2
TOTAL---------------67
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